-by Mark Pennington


I know that my 18 year old son believes I am a fruitcake. Most people who meet me also think I am off my rocker as well. Perhaps it has to do with my obsession with cats, though I don't see why other folks don't see cats the way that I do. My girls are so very fascinating to me in everything that they do. I watch as they rearrange my reading material to suit their needs in marking the limits of the Living Room Bengal 500. And I know that they have a very specific idea in mind as they push things off of tables . They create some diversion in order to position the two-foots where they want them as well. Such as leaping up on the dining room table where they are not supposed to be, and tipping over something like a glass of tea. This causes one of us to come running and hissing at them to get off the table. They then gleefully run to some ledge with fragile items on it and with the every popular "head nudge" some item will teeter dangerously on the edge. Again this causes the two-footed entertainment to rush to save the perilously perched knick knack. All of this is obviously most fun for these little "angels" (yeah, that's it.. angels, that's the ticket)
I digress, the reason for this note was to share the new talent that has been exposed. I know that there are many who understand that a Bengal will train you to turn on the faucet of the bathtub for them to get a drink. I have not been able to go into my bathroom alone since I got the first one.( Bengal, not bathroom). My bathroom experience is now always a shared event. If I am lucky, there will be non shredded toilet paper and if not, then I also have to have my wife join in my toileting adventure. Now, I have a bathtub within reaching distance from a seated position. Because of Bengals, I must always reach over and turn on the faucet each time I visit the throne. It used to be one cat or two would join me. Now the fun factor has seemed to spread through the cat grapevine. I frequently have 5 cats joining me for, what my whole life taught me was, ....a private experience. As I look back now I realize that this was a mistake, but I began saying the word "Wa-Ter" when I would turn on the faucet. Apparently, though no one told me this, Bengals can and do learn to speak. My girl, Dreamy, will now tell me to turn on the "Wa-Ter" . Now this may sound cute and sweet to you, and perhaps it is. But consider this; This bathroom is off of my master bedroom and about 10 steps from the side of my bed. As you must know, a Bengal can be loud when they want something. Right? Now this "Angel" (that's right, that's the ticket) will go into the bathroom when I am there, and when I am NOT there. If I am in bed, and its 4am, and she is thirsty.... you get the idea. I get called from bed with a loud "WA_TER" coming from the bathroom. If I go in, there she is, under the faucet, chanting wa-ter, wa-ter, wa-ter. And interestingly, her sister can also understand a cat speaking two-foot. She comes running when she hears her sister yelling for "Wa-ter"
You folks didn't warn me fully about Bengals. You said they talk alot, you DIDN'T say they would speak English. You didn't say they were capable of conspiracy. And you never, ever warned me that they would and could train ME!
I think you just wanted another person to fall prey to these creatures so you could laugh at another unfortunate. You share the minor "negatives" that you know are not that negative so that you can say "we tried to warn you" but you know you didn't warn... you lured another sucker in. Don't you see, we are all working for these cats. They have us creating more of them and then finding humans for them to train. Anyone remember the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" 
I gotta go... I am being called ....."Wa-Ter" .... "Wa-ter"


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